Post-honeymoon letdown: why you can feel flat after the wedding and the trip

Few let-downs are as confusing as the one that arrives after the wedding and honeymoon. You're supposed to be at a life peak — so why the flatness?

The wedding part

Part of it is specific to weddings. A study that interviewed 28 newly married women found that nearly half reported feeling let down or depressed in the period after their wedding, with some describing clinical levels of depression. The most useful insight from that work is what separated the women who struggled from those who didn't: the women who felt low tended to have framed the wedding as an endpoint — the big event they'd poured themselves into — and were left with unmet expectations and little sense of direction once it was over. The women who fared better framed the wedding as a beginning, and were already orienting toward the marriage ahead.

The holiday part, stacked on top

Stacked on top of that is the ordinary post-vacation dip. A honeymoon is, mechanically, a holiday — and the research on holidays is clear that the mood and well-being boost they provide fades quickly once you return to normal routine. So the honeymoon return delivers a second deflation right on top of the wedding one.

Put together, you get a uniquely steep drop: the end of a months-long, identity-defining event and the end of a trip, both landing in the same week, just as everyday life resumes.

The shift that helps